There is a reason I haven't updated this in so long, but I finally have a morning off, so buckle up, theres a lot to catch up on. Firstly, I'm exhausted... I haven't had a morning off like I do today in a few weeks now... I'm going to try to get home as early as possible tonight so I can rest then as well.

It seems that a new wind has blown in onto the streets recently, and a bunch of people are making incredible steps towards health. The Inuit man who does the beautiful soap stone carvings is 2 weeks sober, selling artwork to shops in yorkville, and looking ten years younger than I've ever seen him. My buddy W got picked up and is in jail, and although it always sucks when someone gets picked up, he needs this opportunity to get clean. The man G. that I've mentioned often is up north at treatment, though it was many a fiasco to get him there. He's there, sober, and doing well. I've heard more talk from people about straightening out in the last 2 weeks then I have in months, and not just talk - there is action.

Part of the ordeal that was getting G on the bus to treatment was the using and drinking he did in the days leading up to his starting day. Last thursday ... no the thursday before, drop-in had just ended and the staff were debriefing when we heard frantic frantic ringing of the doorbell, which is not an uncommon thing at Sanctuary. The door was opened and Steve ran in "G. is having a seizure outside." Doug walked over and phoned 911. Seizure's are a strange phenomenon at Sanctuary. There are many both real and fake, and of the fake there are both conscious and unconscious. I ran outside to the park beside Sanctuary where G was, and had no idea which this was. Earlier in the night he had been sprawled on the ground in front of Sanctuary yelling at anyone who would listen about his childhood abuse, and accusing people of making fun of him for it when they tried to help. He has a strange capacity to call us at Sanctuary sisters and brothers one minute, then all sorts of obscenities the next, insisting that we think of him as 'a project' when the furthest is true. Anyways, he was rocking back and froth and shaking, and he'd snap out of it every few seconds and try to get up or walk a few steps only to fall down again, repeating 'I need a toke, I need a toke', a toke being a hit of crack. The park beside Sanctuary gets a lot of traffic from street folk, so withing the few minutes before the ambulance was there, G. had attracted a small crowd, including a young native guy, F. When the ambulance came and were trying to get him to come with them and to put him on the cart, F. broke down and insisted that they needed to take him to detox. 'I just can't get sober' he repeated between sorrowful pleas. Of course, the ambulance had to decline. I tried calling to get him a bed, but the city has closed so many detoxes I knew it would be a long shot - there of course, were no beds. G. got taken away in the ambulance and F. started lamenting about how he was going to kill himself. Immediately a couple of street brothers circled him, repeating statements like "pull the fuck up". The pressure to toughen up in these situations is so intense. I went over to talk to him about his desire to kill himself and they got mad at me, saying that F. just needed to pull up and shut up.

Speaking of fake seizures, one was had this past Thursday. We endearingly (well, sometimes) call a group of people who come to Sanctuary "The Family". They are a group of people who are in housing, and all weaved into strange and ever-changing familial relationships. A couple on the fringes of the family was arrested as they walked through the park on Thursday and a great big man, G. fell to his knees and started shaking. Its a strange thing to deal with when you know someone is 'faking' a seizure. I knew his anger and feelings of lack of control were legitimate, but I didn't want to legitimize and affirm his contrived physical response. I tried talking to him telling him to take deep breaths, and his girlfriend asked me to help move him to the lawn. Well he wouldn't let us budge him... a sure sign that he wasn't actually physically seizure-ing. Finally a nurse came out and got him to stand up and walk inside with her.

Anyways - back to positive steps. Sanctuary owns a house called "Lucas House" where 4 men who've previously lived on the streets learn to live indoors and in community. We've recently gained possession of another house, and though it doesn't have a name, it already has 2 people who are confirmed to move in on Friday. One of them is a good friend, Steve. He is... ACK this post is to be continued.,.... gotta get to work