First day of internship~

Well... my first "official" day of interning at Sanctuary was quite intense. Last year my first official day was unbearably so, marked by the passing of California. This year, yesterday was intense for very different reasons.

Yesterday morning, Alan and I went to work on continuing to clean up our friend D's place. We started last week after finding out that he had apparently been hoarding a lot of stuff and was feeling really overwhelmed seeing the mess that had accumulated over the last few years, or however long it had been since his apartment had been cleaned out. Last Thursday there were 5 of us in his teeny weeny apartment for a few hours and the way we left it was how I had imagined it would look when we went to see it. I don't think he had thrown anything out in a long time.. and there was anything imaginable... just everywhere. I did dishes for three hours and didn't get through half of them. So yesterday we went back for a few hours and made a lot of progress which was great for D. Now you can actually see the floor and see the bed and see the table etc. whereas before you just kind of knew they were there. For D, someone with anxiety and social issues, I can only imagine what having such a disastrous and chaotic living space was doing to perpetuate his mental health issues. I am so glad we were able to go in and help him with sorting out his living space and getting rid of a lot of the junk he's been storing up. I feel like having a somewhat orderly place to live will help him in so many ways... I'm really glad to have been able to help him out in that way, because I can only imagine how incredibly overwhelming it must have been for him.

After cleaning I caught up with Patrick's school group and hung out for their debrief. It is interesting to note the types of questions high schoolers ask when faced with the realities of the streets.

Last night at drop-in an old friend came by for the first time in months and months. It was so great to see him and get caught up. He shared with me how he got a job and got a place and how things are going well for him. I am so excited he is doing well, he is a dearly beloved friend. He also shared, however, that he's fallen back into smoking crack and that he is worried about it. I hate crack. I hate it so much because I've seen the devastation it's caused in so many of my friends lives. I hope and pray that my friend doesn't continue using, because it won't be long before all the progress he's made is lost to the drug. This is someone I want to be at my wedding, and to be an uncle to my children. The friends I talk about at Sanctuary are real friends... I don't just call them that because it's conducive to the image of community we try to achieve.

The real intense part of my day yesterday, though, didn't happen until after drop-in was over. During staff debrief we talked about a number of issues including the various stories various people had been told by a particular community member. This person, it should be noted, has a history of violence. He did time for his part in the murder of his gay lovers father, a story he retells as if it were a badge; the murder being evidence of the deep and unquenchable love they had. He is now involved with another man and in the same sort of infatuated love where all rationality comes second to the deep bond the two share. This lover, however, has a wife. Yesterday S. spoke with many different people, telling them all different stories about his feelings, and a gun he has acquired, and what he intends to do. To no one did he outright say that he was intent on killing her, but in staff debrief last night we pieced together the trails he had left everyone and it became evident that this man might have been hinting at this. We discussed all sorts of questions: whether to involve the police, whether to go the psych route and get him taken, what to do with the gun if we did get it from him: turn it in and face questions, or destroy it and potentially destroy evidence... there was/is just so much that complicates the situation. We desired above everything to place the safety of S. and the woman above everything, and also did not want to fracture our relationships and trust with S. We ended up splitting into teams: A group to go confront him and try to talk to him, a group to wait in a car nearby, and my group: a group to stay at the church and pray. They ended up finding him and taking him out for coffee, and they apparently made a lot of progress with him, saying he was lucid, sober, and in a good head space. So last night ended well. I am incredibly blessed to work with the people that I do at Sanctuary and last night was evidence of that fact. In everything they try to work for the betterment of the community, and keep calm, rational, and loving in times of crisis. I continue to learn so much form them.